I foresaw a future that is now in another one's past, and for me it seems lost... If lost, for how long? Maybe forever lost. But there is a future yet to happen, and that which this other foresees today could be the past of mine tomorrow... The lost will be found when no one seeks it anymore, or when you ask a Xaositect to find it for you. Know that Never is lost, when Forever is found. And when the future is not yet totally lost, where could it be retrieved?
There is still hope for the dreamer, when his life becomes his dream, and his dream becomes his life... This one should no be here, I know, but where? I also know the tale of the faerie who was afraid of a certain dragon, but now is not the time to tell this story. It, and everything else, shall be continued when that which may be lost, could be retrieved... Or when another one dreams the past of my future!
Strange but necessary...
I once saw the Mirror of Eyes, but It is now closed to me... What the Mirror showed me? A past that never was present, but was once a future... And Lo! Before the entrance to the Dreamland, the Mirror awaits for those who knows how to find it...
.sigh.
Hard Life to Live ends, while Summer in Berlin starts! The Eternal Idol Black Sabbath into Forever Young Alphaville... Now, all the desires of my Mind require a trip to the Dreaming, and there is my Mind's currently destination...
Showing posts with label Fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fear. Show all posts
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Restart
This place needs a restart, and my life needs a boost...
I have posted this a long time ago, but I am feeling that I need to post this again. at least for me.
Litany Against Fear - Bene Gesserit
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
I have posted this a long time ago, but I am feeling that I need to post this again. at least for me.
Litany Against Fear - Bene Gesserit
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Evil Squirrels of the cemetery...
I fear for my life, my friends. The minions of The Cube are all around Ann Arbor, even here near my new neighborhood, far from its dreadful resting place. The Cube's fiendish minions are everywhere. The cemetery near my new house is full of its foul and corrupted minions. And I could take a glimpse of the utmost malevolence emanating from one of this aberrations from out-of-the-stars. I could barely scape alive, for I was surrounded for countless of such malevolent creatures. Even alive, I did not know if it was better to be left alive after seen what I have seen this very day. My sanity is barely non-existent after gazing inside these eyes of the uttermost malevolent intent. Here are some picture of the foulest and most wicked beasts that I am sure, ever set foot upon our pitiful planet...
This evil ghoulish squirrel was watching my every move while I was wandering through this unhallowed ground. Smelling my soul, and sucking all that was left of my sanity...
Look at the non-euclidean pose this evil tiny beast is holding. The only reason my mind could devise for such a pose was that the creature was performing some kind of corrupted and fiendish ritual over the gravestones... Fortunately, the creature was in a kind of static trance state, and its mind was reaching planes of existence the primitive minds of humans could never imagine, let alone comprehend. And it did not see me, or at least not as a menace able to disrupt its vile magic ritual...
This other nefarious small creature is profaning the grave over its unholy paws. It is sucking all and feeding in the remnant essence of the dead buried in that place. I have never sighted such devious act in all my near-ending life...
And Lo! Behold the Black-Fiendish-Evil-Squirrel from Beyond the Stars... The Great Squirrel Overlord, answering only to The Cube Itself! (I will not even start to wonder what the creature holds in its mouth, for all that remains of my spirit could be uttertly annihilated thinking about such Evil conundrum. I could feel that the root of the tree feeds on the blood and remains of dead buried in this Unholy graveyard, and the creature overlords its minions from its Unholy Throne over the Death-Feeding Tree...)
May the Elder Gods, have mercy on my soul, and yours as well, friends, for The Cube's influence is everywhere!! My mind is lost forever, and insanity is all that remains... The Cube is the ROOT of all the evil in our planet, and its abominable minions are everywhere...
P.S.: Click over the pictures to enlarge, if you dare...
This evil ghoulish squirrel was watching my every move while I was wandering through this unhallowed ground. Smelling my soul, and sucking all that was left of my sanity...
Look at the non-euclidean pose this evil tiny beast is holding. The only reason my mind could devise for such a pose was that the creature was performing some kind of corrupted and fiendish ritual over the gravestones... Fortunately, the creature was in a kind of static trance state, and its mind was reaching planes of existence the primitive minds of humans could never imagine, let alone comprehend. And it did not see me, or at least not as a menace able to disrupt its vile magic ritual...
This other nefarious small creature is profaning the grave over its unholy paws. It is sucking all and feeding in the remnant essence of the dead buried in that place. I have never sighted such devious act in all my near-ending life...
And Lo! Behold the Black-Fiendish-Evil-Squirrel from Beyond the Stars... The Great Squirrel Overlord, answering only to The Cube Itself! (I will not even start to wonder what the creature holds in its mouth, for all that remains of my spirit could be uttertly annihilated thinking about such Evil conundrum. I could feel that the root of the tree feeds on the blood and remains of dead buried in this Unholy graveyard, and the creature overlords its minions from its Unholy Throne over the Death-Feeding Tree...)
May the Elder Gods, have mercy on my soul, and yours as well, friends, for The Cube's influence is everywhere!! My mind is lost forever, and insanity is all that remains... The Cube is the ROOT of all the evil in our planet, and its abominable minions are everywhere...
P.S.: Click over the pictures to enlarge, if you dare...
Monday, August 20, 2007
Life
I am an astrophysicist student, but that is not what I am! What defines me? My work helps to define me, but I am not defined by my work! Part of what I am I have already discovered, and it is what I have lived and already learned, and part of it is what I am living and learning right now. But there is a part that I have yet to discover, and that is what keeps me going further and further...
Life is something so limited. People need to follow so many rules in life. People need to breath. People need to eat. People are bound to the Laws of Physics, and other undisclosed laws that seems to be beyond physics at all. People even have to follow rules defined by other people, and these other people not always want the best for whom they are making the rules for... But they have to live within these limits during many decades. And these rules are what life is for a great majority of people around the world. And for great majority of people, the only thing that differentiates one person from another are their work, their family and their friends. They don't even realize that they are trapped inside this Tome of Laws, and that their life is simply following these laws.
A long time ago I realized that I did not want to follow these rules anymore. I don't want to have a "normal" life. I don't want to live a job to earn money, then spend the same money, repeating the cycle until the end of my days, with some small variations in what I am spending the money with: myself, family, friends (these thing not even vary that much, do they?). I don't want to follow any religion, because I don't trust the people who made of religion their particular business, and I really don't want to follow a path that was defined by others who think they know the path to find the ultimate salvation and redemption. What is redemption and what is salvation after all?
I want to have a work, because I learn things while I am at work, things that are not always that useful for the society, but I don't care about what they think is useful or not, I just want to learn. Money is just one of those society-imposed laws, so for now I still have to earn some if I want to live, since nowadays there are some critical biological laws that requires the use of some amount of money to be followed (food, health care, water...). But for me life goes far beyond work, money, and the predefined religions. I want to learn things that are beyond the scope of my work, I want to learn how to see the hidden pattern and the hidden chaos that is beyond the veils of Reality. My Religion is my Unpredictable Life, and for me is the wisest path to follow. Will it leads me to my redemption and salvation? It will surely take me where I want to go, even that I do not know yet where is this place.
The most beautiful thing about one's life is that is not simply defined by oneself. The life of everyone is a great entangled web. Every person in the world is connected to this great web, and every person helps define the life of everyone else. This is the great source of chaos and unpredictability that rules everyone's life. And there is much more to this Web than only people, there are many other things keeping life churning and moving in a ever-changing way. But even this endless source of chaos is not able to make most of the people realize how great is life, and how all those "chains" are limiting their true life's potential.
I am a still caged apprentice of life. My mind insanely seeks things that are still beyond my reach, but things that I know are "true". I am not The Perfect Model Worker, nor do I want to be one during my entire life. The riches I seek are far beyond anything money can buy me. The path I have chosen to follow does not lead me to Redemption nor even to Salvation as envisioned by the predefined "great" religions, instead it leads me to the Frightening and Obliterating Unknown. And I am not afraid.
I am a Madman. Perhaps a "Dreamer". I have seen small glimpses of the "True" for the most ephemeral of moments, and that was the source of my insanity and what drives me to my Quest. I remain locked in an Asylum, that is not just "another one" but "THE". I have already one Key in my hand, but there are yet many others to obtain. I will find them all, and I will not be afraid of use them...
That is my True Vision about Life, but still that is not what I am...
Life is something so limited. People need to follow so many rules in life. People need to breath. People need to eat. People are bound to the Laws of Physics, and other undisclosed laws that seems to be beyond physics at all. People even have to follow rules defined by other people, and these other people not always want the best for whom they are making the rules for... But they have to live within these limits during many decades. And these rules are what life is for a great majority of people around the world. And for great majority of people, the only thing that differentiates one person from another are their work, their family and their friends. They don't even realize that they are trapped inside this Tome of Laws, and that their life is simply following these laws.
A long time ago I realized that I did not want to follow these rules anymore. I don't want to have a "normal" life. I don't want to live a job to earn money, then spend the same money, repeating the cycle until the end of my days, with some small variations in what I am spending the money with: myself, family, friends (these thing not even vary that much, do they?). I don't want to follow any religion, because I don't trust the people who made of religion their particular business, and I really don't want to follow a path that was defined by others who think they know the path to find the ultimate salvation and redemption. What is redemption and what is salvation after all?
I want to have a work, because I learn things while I am at work, things that are not always that useful for the society, but I don't care about what they think is useful or not, I just want to learn. Money is just one of those society-imposed laws, so for now I still have to earn some if I want to live, since nowadays there are some critical biological laws that requires the use of some amount of money to be followed (food, health care, water...). But for me life goes far beyond work, money, and the predefined religions. I want to learn things that are beyond the scope of my work, I want to learn how to see the hidden pattern and the hidden chaos that is beyond the veils of Reality. My Religion is my Unpredictable Life, and for me is the wisest path to follow. Will it leads me to my redemption and salvation? It will surely take me where I want to go, even that I do not know yet where is this place.
The most beautiful thing about one's life is that is not simply defined by oneself. The life of everyone is a great entangled web. Every person in the world is connected to this great web, and every person helps define the life of everyone else. This is the great source of chaos and unpredictability that rules everyone's life. And there is much more to this Web than only people, there are many other things keeping life churning and moving in a ever-changing way. But even this endless source of chaos is not able to make most of the people realize how great is life, and how all those "chains" are limiting their true life's potential.
I am a still caged apprentice of life. My mind insanely seeks things that are still beyond my reach, but things that I know are "true". I am not The Perfect Model Worker, nor do I want to be one during my entire life. The riches I seek are far beyond anything money can buy me. The path I have chosen to follow does not lead me to Redemption nor even to Salvation as envisioned by the predefined "great" religions, instead it leads me to the Frightening and Obliterating Unknown. And I am not afraid.
I am a Madman. Perhaps a "Dreamer". I have seen small glimpses of the "True" for the most ephemeral of moments, and that was the source of my insanity and what drives me to my Quest. I remain locked in an Asylum, that is not just "another one" but "THE". I have already one Key in my hand, but there are yet many others to obtain. I will find them all, and I will not be afraid of use them...
That is my True Vision about Life, but still that is not what I am...
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Resumo
Gostaria de reiterar sobre o objetivo principal deste blog. Alguma das últimas mensagens podem parecer totalmente sem sentido. E elas realmente não tem sentido nenhum, e este é o ponto. Claro, para a pessoa que escreve, existe realmente um sentido oculto naquilo. Quero dizer que vocês podem ficar à vontade lendo, e se quiserem podem fazer um esforço de tentar entender o sentido oculto da mensagem, ou ainda interpretar da maneira que for mais conveniente para vocês.
O objetivo aqui é o Caos. E em várias das mensagens, eu estou tentando brincar com isso. Algumas são mais sérias do que outras, mas os momentos são assim realmente. Espero que os puristas da linguagem não achem ruim quando eu misturar inglês e português na mesma mensagem. E eu vou continuar escrevendo tanto em inglês quanto em português. Infelizmente meu alemão não é tão bom de modo a poder misturá-lo às mensagens também. E claro, eventualmente, eu ainda vou usar "scramblespeak", aí sim que ninguém vai entender nada. Se alguém leu a "scramblepoetry" a alguns dias atrás, eu digo que "scramblespeak" é algo parecido.
Qualquer dia eu falo sobre o limbo, nunca falei dele, e ele é importante. Apenas tenho que estar mais inspirado.
Eu ainda gosto do número 897, portanto ele ainda fica escondido por aí. Quando eu achar um número primo legal, eu o coloco aqui. Normalmente, eu fatoro números de placas, ou número das comandas de restaurante, em busca de novos números primos, de cabeça, mas não tenho feito isso ultimamente.
Eu já zerei o "Guitar Hero", e já nem estou jogando tanto quanto antes. Cansei de jogar PS2 de novo.
Ainda estou esperando o e-mail da minha co-orientadora, falando sobre o erro no código do programa.
Nunca mais vi a menina "heavy metal" com os braços todos marcados por cortes que eu encontrei no ônibus. E nunca mais sonhei com a menina dos olhos verdes brilhantes, mas encontrei com ela pessoalmente.
Estou lendo um livro chamado "O Despertar dos Mágicos". Um dia eu falo mais sobre ele.
E a Vida continua. O Tempo ainda passa, mas eu ainda descubro uma maneira de vencê-lo. O Mundo continua gigantesco com suas ilhas minúsculas no meio do pacífico. A Dor um dia desaparece, e eventualmente aparece de novo. Medos são difíceis de vencer, mas devem ser vencidos. Os Fantasmas ainda assombram. Mas sempre haverá a Esperança na busca de um novo dia, melhor que o anterior.
O Castelo continua em construção. E o Diamante, ainda bruto, continua sendo lapidado. Os Olhos brilharão novamente, a Força retornará aos músculos. O Propósito primordial voltará a consciência. O jovem Dragão ousará voar alto, muito alto.
Continua...
O objetivo aqui é o Caos. E em várias das mensagens, eu estou tentando brincar com isso. Algumas são mais sérias do que outras, mas os momentos são assim realmente. Espero que os puristas da linguagem não achem ruim quando eu misturar inglês e português na mesma mensagem. E eu vou continuar escrevendo tanto em inglês quanto em português. Infelizmente meu alemão não é tão bom de modo a poder misturá-lo às mensagens também. E claro, eventualmente, eu ainda vou usar "scramblespeak", aí sim que ninguém vai entender nada. Se alguém leu a "scramblepoetry" a alguns dias atrás, eu digo que "scramblespeak" é algo parecido.
Qualquer dia eu falo sobre o limbo, nunca falei dele, e ele é importante. Apenas tenho que estar mais inspirado.
Eu ainda gosto do número 897, portanto ele ainda fica escondido por aí. Quando eu achar um número primo legal, eu o coloco aqui. Normalmente, eu fatoro números de placas, ou número das comandas de restaurante, em busca de novos números primos, de cabeça, mas não tenho feito isso ultimamente.
Eu já zerei o "Guitar Hero", e já nem estou jogando tanto quanto antes. Cansei de jogar PS2 de novo.
Ainda estou esperando o e-mail da minha co-orientadora, falando sobre o erro no código do programa.
Nunca mais vi a menina "heavy metal" com os braços todos marcados por cortes que eu encontrei no ônibus. E nunca mais sonhei com a menina dos olhos verdes brilhantes, mas encontrei com ela pessoalmente.
Estou lendo um livro chamado "O Despertar dos Mágicos". Um dia eu falo mais sobre ele.
E a Vida continua. O Tempo ainda passa, mas eu ainda descubro uma maneira de vencê-lo. O Mundo continua gigantesco com suas ilhas minúsculas no meio do pacífico. A Dor um dia desaparece, e eventualmente aparece de novo. Medos são difíceis de vencer, mas devem ser vencidos. Os Fantasmas ainda assombram. Mas sempre haverá a Esperança na busca de um novo dia, melhor que o anterior.
O Castelo continua em construção. E o Diamante, ainda bruto, continua sendo lapidado. Os Olhos brilharão novamente, a Força retornará aos músculos. O Propósito primordial voltará a consciência. O jovem Dragão ousará voar alto, muito alto.
Continua...
Friday, March 2, 2007
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Litany Against Fear
- I must not fear.
- Fear is the mind-killer.
- Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
- I will face my fear.
- I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
- And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
- Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
- Only I will remain.
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