Conumdrum I

One of the best compliments I could ever receive is: "You are Lovecraftianly insane". Of course, that does not mean I want to spend anytime whatsoever in a sanatorium. Thus, I have no plans either to make people believe I have to spend sometime in such a place. Therefore, there is a very high probability tending to 1 that I will never receive such a compliment.

How to solve such a conumdrum?

The Future Mirror's Tale of an Undreamed Past?

I foresaw a future that is now in another one's past, and for me it seems lost... If lost, for how long? Maybe forever lost. But there is a future yet to happen, and that which this other foresees today could be the past of mine tomorrow... The lost will be found when no one seeks it anymore, or when you ask a Xaositect to find it for you. Know that Never is lost, when Forever is found. And when the future is not yet totally lost, where could it be retrieved?

There is still hope for the dreamer, when his life becomes his dream, and his dream becomes his life... This one should no be here, I know, but where? I also know the tale of the faerie who was afraid of a certain dragon, but now is not the time to tell this story. It, and everything else, shall be continued when that which may be lost, could be retrieved... Or when another one dreams the past of my future!

Strange but necessary...

I once saw the Mirror of Eyes, but It is now closed to me... What the Mirror showed me? A past that never was present, but was once a future... And Lo! Before the entrance to the Dreamland, the Mirror awaits for those who knows how to find it...

.sigh.

Hard Life to Live ends, while Summer in Berlin starts! The Eternal Idol Black Sabbath into Forever Young Alphaville... Now, all the desires of my Mind require a trip to the Dreaming, and there is my Mind's currently destination...

The Poor Green Queen of Hearts!

I don't know if my life needs more insanity, or if my insanity needs more life... But I know that in the future the world will be ruled by flying jellyfishes, and then it will end by hyper-dimensional tentacles...

.sigh.

The green Queen of hearts wants the martians out of the solar system, so she decided to use a reversed vacuum cleaner to blew Mars away... After that she decided to walk on the ceiling with her jellyfish companion. Unbeknownst to her is the fact that the jellyfish plots to overthrow her with the help of his were-lobsters minions!

So it has been written, and so it shall be done!

Raggatta de Blanc has just finished...

Zeitgeist

Sometime ago I watched a movie called Zeitgeist, a documentary that tells some supposed truths about our world. It is full of conspiracy theories, but it is very interesting, and I believe some of the facts there are really true.

The first part is about religion, and that is the scariest but the best part of the movie in my opinion. The second part is about the World Trade Center Incident in 2001, and the last one is about the world economic system.

It is a long movie, about 2h 20min, and it deserves to be fully watched. But first, as you might have your world foundations shaken, and even shattered, be advised to be prepared before hit the link below and play it.

By the way, I love Conspiracy Theories! If I do believe in them? Well, sometimes, but not always...

Here is the link: Zeitgeist - The Movie

The Weird that might not be so weird

... and if all those absurd conspiracy theories, that seem to come from the delirious mind of some people, were nothing but a background to confuse, and hide the real conspiracy!?

There are so many weird conspiracy theories around the world, regarding whatever theme suits you best, and most of them are so absurd that it is very easy to simply regard them as just fantasy, bullshit, and the work of a very delirious mind... But, if that was something planned, something carefully woven as the great tapestry of all time. A tapestry of facts, where 99% of them are just too absurd to be believed, but the remaining 1% is not so absurd after all, and actually mirror exactly what is really happening... You look at the bigger picture and all you see is fantasy, illusions, a world that seem so far from the truth that you disregard the whole picture, not even looking at the Real details... Blindness and Disinformation.

Why? Because we think that we are too smart to be deceived. We are simply arrogant in our own blindness. The ones who know the truth, thus can control you, watching your blind life, and laughing at it...

Another Day, Another Step

It is been another day, and in this special day, nothing special really happened. Actually, I saw in the news that Iran just tested some long range missiles that stroke their targets accurately. I also discovered that Russia's president is not Vladimir Putin anymore. The new President is Dmitry Medvedev (cool name), and he loves the classical Hard Rock from the 70s and 80s. This guy loves Rock'n'Roll and has nuclear weapons, in just one word, AWESOME! Vladimir Putin now is the prime minister of the Russia Union. I was a little bit outdated on that.

For a while (past few weeks), I thought my code was working fine, but then I found out some inconsistencies in my results, and since two weeks ago I have been then working on that. It is still not working as I expect, and every day it got more and more tedious to debug that. So, no new step here, so far...

One day, I am going to write so many bizarre things here, that I think I will make someone else insane just for read them... Not today, though. Today the only person insane here is me, or maybe someone else, who is already insane, and will read it in the next couple of hours.

I do not think I am the only person in the world who has strange thoughts about Reality. But every time I think about it, for whatever the reason, it seems I simply go more insane. Comprehension and Insanity are best friends in my point of view.

Just to give you a taste of what crossed my mind in my way back home... I was in the bus, almost leaving it, thinking about a myriad things... I was hearing trance music, and then the thought came into my mind: "What if God is this sound sample (2 or 3 seconds of the music playing in my Creative Zen)? No... What if God is that number 3 painted in that wall? Three is a perfect concept after all... Was it?"

This was just a small string of the whole train of thought that started in the same moment I left the lab today. And after that I just became a little more insane... There is no way back, anymore! But whatever, I just love it...

Just Another Misconceived Idea?

Have you ever had the feeling that due to some hidden process or reason, you are the cause of someone else's bad luck? Worse yet, someone you like very much!

It might be very presumptuous of me to think like that, but when everything seemed to have gone awry just after I became part of this someone's life, and, since that, nothing good seemed to have happened in this person's life, the idea does not seem so misconceived...

Yes! I am crazy, megalomaniac, arrogant, and maybe much more and worse than that... But, beyond that, I do not know what to do, and those feeling are just ripping my soul apart...

.sigh.

Maybe I am doing everything wrong, and it is really all my fault... Damn! May the Elder Gods enlighten me... (This time I swear I want enlightenment, not more confusion and insanity, if there is really a way to not have the whole package together...)

Strange Sightings

... and so it came to pass that I was inside the bus, going to the University, wondering about something already forgotten, and then over the window I saw it... There... Something that should not be there. Was that my mind playing a trick on me? Was it the true face of reality? Or just the hidden face of Insanity making an ephemeral appearance in my mind? I do not know...

I saw it inside a car that just passed by. For a glimpse of a moment I thought I have just seen something that should not be... I closed my eyes for a while, then blinked two or three times, and looked again... I was not mistaken. There was something very amiss driving that car. There seemed to be an aura of wrongness around that figure, something non-euclidean surrounding that thing... And just in the midst of that aura of insanity was the thing I can not even start to describe, even though I still can see that which should not be clearly in my mind...

That thing was driving the car. It was humanoid, but what else? No tentacles that I could see, though. But I saw it as something shaped by the hands of Entropy Itself... It was not only horrid, but also decayed as I have never seen before... A zombie of some sort driving a car!! How dead was that, I have no idea! Fortunately for me, the sighting was a very rapid one, but I can not take it out of my mind... Am I going insane or are there truly zombies amongst ourselves? And that aura surrounding it, what was it?

And the small green footprints, of a large humanoid beast I have seen in my way home, while I was crossing the Human Sciences Building (FAFICH)? Was that someone's doing, or another trick played by Reality on me?

And there was something else I cannot recall, maybe a selective amnesia to keep my mind from another trauma...

Shall I trust everything I see? Or are really things that are not true!? Or maybe too TRUE to be perceived by common eyes!? Things that the people's mind just filter to not shatter!? Why me??

It can only be The Cube!! I know... It is the Cube hunting me, even in my dreams... And I though I was free... The Cube's minions are after me, after so long, but who are they!? Can I escape? At least, I have not seen any of those Evil Squirrels anymore... It can also be The Rock, or maybe both!! I hope I am not doomed... I will run away... Where? I cannot tell yet, but I will be free from The Cube invisible clutches again... I swear I will!!

Or maybe Entropy is just showing me something... Something that I already know (?), but I have not seen yet...

Broken Quasi-Stability

...and when you think your insanity has reached an optimal quasi-stable level, one to which you are fully satisfied, then, suddenly it happens, and your mind starts to play new tricks on you, and madness starts to grow and reshape itself again...

I do not like stagnation, but every time it breaks, I have to learn how to be more and more misleading...

The normal world, which was once the only reality known, is just a faint shadow of the Truth. Before the eyes, just a semi-transparent veil over the unfathomable... Something so alien the mind can barely grasp an ephemeral piece of understanding without shatter... The ephemeral turns to be so deep that seems to be Infinity, and maybe It is that... What remains? Nothing else, but_

I don't think I can pass as a normal person anymore, but who cares? My Peace lies where I am, never in the same place... A wanderer... A daylight dreamer... Dreams or Nightmares? Irrelevant. The only known path, should be cautiously taken, a misstep and obliteration follows.

What I have seen today? Just the usual Purple Tentacle trying to takeover the world.

Instead of writing this, I should have been reading a paper to prepare a seminar... Towards Understanding Massive Star Formation... The usual.

...and oblivious to the world around it, it plots, hidden, unknown, waiting for the time to reveal another ephemeral piece of the Ever-Changing Puzzle, and destroy another quasi-stable view of an already deranged, disarrayed and unstable Reality...

A Small Insight

The answers and the understanding that I seek is clearer today than it was yesterday... There is beauty even in things that look dreary and hopeless... I have seen it... Can you?

...and the quest continues...

Dust in the Wind

Religion is something interesting. Religious people look at things in a way that does not contradict their beliefs, but instead strengthen their religion, and in this way an every day fact gives them strength. Faith is a source of strength, and makes everything a little bit easier, even when it seems the Multiverse is conspiring against you, and nothing seems to work right. Usually religions are meant to be soothing and to give people hope, even in their darkest hour.

Today I was walking towards my building in the University, and I was thinking about my own religion. The Doomguard, the followers of Entropy. It is a weird religion I admit, and most people might think I am totally insane just to follow such a non-standard concept, and then call this a religion... Anyway, I was walking, hearing music in my MP3 player, wondering, and then, as an omen, it started to play a music called "Dust in the Wind" from a band called "Kansas". And while that happened, I saw for the first time the world in the eyes of a Doomguard. I will not even dare to describe what I saw here, as I do not want to scare you. It was not something soothing, nor gave me any hope, but it was beautiful in a way. And that made me think about life as it is today, not only mine, but everyone's.

In the end, there will be nothing, not even dust, much less wind... So why? We are nothing but tools of destruction, even not knowing. People build and care, but it decays. People create, and time destroys. Life was born, just to die.

All I am now is Confusion, Insanity, Chaos and Conflict... And there is where I have found "Peace" for now, but the search continues... What do I seek? Understanding...



DUST IN THE WIND
By KANSAS

I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind

Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind.
Oh________________

Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind (everything is dust in the wind)

Day of the Smarm

Yesterday I decided to create "The Day of the Smarm". So I wish a very "Happy Day of the Smarm" to each one of my readers.

Who is Smarm? One day I will clarify everything for you. What matters now is that The Day of the Smarm is commemorated at each 367 days, as there is a slightly temporal variation in the Smarm dimension. And there might be some random variations in the 367 days period, and maybe next time will be at each 37 days... Who knows!? But be right that the next one will be only in February 10th of 2009.

What should you do in this special day? Well... Do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, destroy whatever crosses your path, it does not matter! Smarm does not care at all... Just praise the concepts of Chaos and Entropy, and you will be fine.

By the way, what I did today was to beat Rock Band with the guitar in the medium setting! Next step hard setting... And play with the guitar instead of the controller is way MUCH better, and cooler!!!

Caos em Xaos

Senhores cidadãos de Xaos, é meu dever como prefeito comunicá-los de um grave problema que está assolando nossa bela cidade. Está ocorrendo uma imigração em massa para Xaos, ainda não sabemos de onde vieram tantos habitantes, mas de dois dias para cá o número de habitantes de Xaos, cresceu de maneira explosiva, e devido a este fato a economia da cidade começou a se desestabilizar. O número de desempregados assumiu proporções alarmantes, e a infra-estrutura das redes de transporte da cidade está sobrecarregada. Algumas pessoas, infelizmente, resolveram sair de Xaos devido à falta de controle da situação.

Devido a severidade da situação, como prefeito, tomarei medidas sérias para a resolução dos problemas:

• A taxa de impostos das empresas que resolverem se instalar na cidade, gerando empregos para a população local, será diminuída em 2%. Empresas bioquímicas, que utilizarem a matéria prima local (cogumelos alucinógenos) em seus produtos, terão a taxação reduzida de 4%;
  
• Slaads terão todo o direito de se alimentar de desempregados, vadiando pelas ruas durante os horários de expediente normal. Portanto, qualquer pessoa que tenha um emprego deve adquirir uma permissão com sua empresa para poder andar livre pela cidade durante o expediente, sem perigo de ser devorado por sapos gigantes multicoloridos vindos de outro plano de existência[1];
  
• Não será tolerado de forma alguma, pessoas que não tenham pelo menos 5 dedos no pé esquerdo, e não mais que 7 dedos no pé direito! O descumprimento de tais exigências mínimas será punido com penas severas, tais como: assistir Teletubbies durante uma semana seguida; servir de cobaia em pesquisas bionucleares; cavar túneis sem propósito algum; servir como hospedeiro para ovos de Slaads; etc. A única excessão a regra é caso a pessoa comprove que seja verde, e consiga fazer fotossítese;
• Modrons, ou qualquer entidade originária de Mechanus, que não tenham o formato de um D37,23 (dado com 37,23 lados regulares), não serão aceitos de forma alguma dentro dos limites físicos da cidade, e serão atacados e destruídos pela milícia local ao primeiro contato visual.
  

Espero que após tais medidas, a cidade passe a crescer de maneira aceitável novamente, e volte a ser o ótimo local que sempre foi desde sua fundação! Caso queira promover o desenvolvimento econômico da cidade criando novas indústrias, é só nos enviar as propostas.

[1] Slaads como criaturas totalmente caóticas, não têm necessidade de agir de acordo com a legislação municipal, estatal, federal, ou mesmo extra-planar, vigentes, e portanto podem se alimentar de qualquer criatura, independente do status de empregado, desempregado, portador de licença ou não. Portanto cidadão, a não ser que você seja mais poderoso que um deles, tenha cautela ao se aproximar destas amáveis criaturas. A prefeitura não se responsabiliza por nenhum ataque de Slaad que você ou sua família venha a sofrer, dentro ou fora dos limites da cidade;

Slaads, criaturas adoráveis.

Be quick or...

Sometimes I have the feeling that I am spending too much of my time writing in this blog... Is that a waste of time? I really don't know... I just know that most of the time, I have fun writing these senseless things that no one cares about! :P

By the way, I did not write about it, but I beat "Doom 3" around a week ago. I also watched "Silent Hill", and I loved this movie... That is a movie I can call psychedelic terror! And sometime in the future I am going to write a medicine-astrophysics paper, but first I have to meet a friend in Brazil, and then we will get drunk, and while drunk we will start to discuss about the ideas for this article. (And I'm quite sure she was not kidding when she told me that... That will be fun! HAuHAuHAuHAuHAuHAuHAUha... )

Senseless post about an unfinished post

I am so tired today, that the senseless post I was writing here started to become more serious than I wanted it to be, so I just decided to stop. But I was feeling that something must be written here so I decided to write a post about an unfinished post. Maybe the unfinished post will be finished in the future, or maybe not, but I will only tell about it, when I finish it...

For now, I will write people a secret!

Take heed and bear witness to the truths that lie herein, for they are the last legacy of the Horadrim. (Ok. The Secret Order of the Horadrim Magi has been extinct for centuries, Deckard Caim was the last one of them, and I guess he might be dead for a very long time right now, or maybe he still roams the land as a very ancient guy, or even as an undead. But anyway... ) And so it came to pass that the one who HATES cheese passionately is green, but he does not make photosynthesis.

And beware!! Gold fishes can kill you while you sleep! The Dreamscape is a dangerous place.

By the end, I have written TWO great secrets... No more secrets for a while, and now it ends with Moonchild, the beginning of the Seventh! The Bornless One, and maybe the best. Who? The Ancient of Days or the First Fallen!? Everything seems scrambled, but sometimes clarity is hidden beneath your bed.

Some Interesting Number Sequences

123456789
149656941
187456329
161656161
123456789

Does it make any sense for you? I just found out these sequences, while making some mental calculations, and I loved it!!!

iiDevn ntispiorani

I am deeply needing a powerful and insightful divine inspiration... My mind is steadily frozen... I guess I need to talk with The Cube!!

And I also need a new computer in my office... My computer is cursed... (You cursed, overheating-friendly P4 HT... I hate you!!! Grrrrr.... ]-/ )

Um Grande Imprevisto

Estranho como uma pessoa, mesmo estando tão distante consegue mudar a vida de outra de uma hora pra outra, de uma maneira totalmente inesperada. Você está em algum canto do mundo, diversas coisas acontecendo, ou não acontecendo, e inesperadamente uma única troca de palavras consegue mudar o fluxo de uma vida. Como eu já disse, eu adoro quando coisas inesperadas acontecem na minha vida, e desta vez não foi diferente.

Às vezes, tudo acontece tão rápido, e sem controle que aparece um certo receio, pra não dizer medo, na sua mente. Você se lembra de certas experiências passadas, e percebe que de vez enquando um simples deslize pode criar uma bagunça na sua vida, e que certas coisas devem acontecer, mas de preferência de uma maneira mais lenta, sem surtos de impulsividade. Isso realmente cria um certo receio. Receio de sofrer, receio de cometer um mesmo erro novamente. Mas sabe de uma coisa, tem horas que o melhor mesmo é deixar receio e medo pra trás, e deixar a falta de controle, e a impulsividade da situação tomar conta. Uma vida só de calmaria e estabilidade não tem graça. Se no final das contas, tudo der errado, você torce pra ter aprendido alguma coisa. Mas pode ser que no final das contas tudo valha a pena, e todo o Caos inicial traga algo especial e inesperado pra sua vida.

Tudo que anda acontecendo, no momento, tem valido muito a pena, mas tudo estaria bem melhor se eu estive há alguns milhares de quilômetros mais ao sul de onde estou. Já disse aqui que não gosto de fazer planos muito no futuro, mas já tenho planos bem delineados pra próxima Semana Santa (daqui a 113 dias), que será logo depois que eu chegar ao Brasil. Após isso, eu não sei de mais nada... Mas a Semana Santa com certeza será bem interessante, e eu não estarei em Belo Horizonte!!! E por mais louca, e insana que a situação possa parecer, eu estou adorando tudo, e não estou nem um pouco preocupado com a imprevisibilidade(?) de tudo o que pode acontecer no futuro.

Os 30

Eis que completo meus temidos 30 anos hoje. Agora eu saí oficialmente da posicão de velho, e fui promovido a antigo, e estou no caminho de me tornar um ancião. Tudo bem que eu não vivi nem 10% da minha vida ainda, aliás, se meus planos derem certo, talves 30 representem apenas uma pequena percentagem da minha vida real, e isto quer dizer que mesmo sendo antigo, eu ainda tenho um MUITO LONGO caminho pela frente. Claro, se a Entropia deixar. O futuro está apenas começando.

Quando entrei na minha 3a. década, lá pro final de 1997, eu estava terminando meu segundo semestre de graduação na Física. Se eu me lembro bem, eu estava entrando na minha fase mais negra, revoltada e anti-social. Havia descoberto a Internet a pouco tempo, e era totalmente viciado no mIRC. O ICQ ainda estava começando na época, mas eu ainda não tinha. No final de 1997 eu fui ao meu primeiro show de Metal de verdade: Megadeth, Sepultura, Tia Anastácia (que não é Metal, mas na época fazia sucesso e era relativamente pesado), e White Snake. Foi um show no estacionamento do Mineirão, e eu fui com meu amigo Batata, e mais uns amigos dele. Eu e o Batata ficamos gritando pros caras do Megadeth: "Toca Paranoid!!!" (No CD Nativity in Black - Tribute to Black Sabbath, eles tocaram Paranoid). Foi logo depois de ter ido a esse show que eu criei minha conta no ICQ, com um número de 7 dígitos, que eu lembro até hoje: 7038219. Meu nick na época era ^_HaDeS_^ (se alguém ainda usa ICQ, fique a vontade pra me adicionar, o problema vai ser eu conectar ao ICQ, mas eventualmente isto ainda acontece). Ainda existia a 107.5FM em BH, que terminou alguns meses depois em janeiro de 1998, e após eu fiquei órfão de rádio por um longo tempo. Eu não lembro o que eu ganhei de aniversário, nem de Natal, mas eu lembro que na época meu computador era um Pentium 133MHz com 2GB de HD e 32MB de RAM (isso que é ser nerd!!). Eu estava numa fase meio Marilyn Manson. A maioria das minhas notas eram "A's", e tinha um ou outro "B". Fazia parte do P.E.T. (Programa Especial de Treinamento) lá no Departamento de Física, e já ganhava uma bolsa que, na época, eu achava ótima. Havia uma menina por quem eu tinha uma certa paixão platônica, ela era do curso de Química, e quando eu estava quase me declarando pra ela, eu descobri que ela estava grávida do namorado. Fiquei com o coração partido por causa disso. Eu também era um esqueleto ambulante. Já conhecia alguns dos meus melhores amigos de hoje: Batata (meu companheiro inseparável em quase todos os shows de Metal e o cara que mais conhece de Rock'n'Roll que eu conheço), Daniel (o mestre de RPG que consegue deixar um PC de décimo nível com medo de um simples kobold, e o jogador que consegue criar os PCs mais "combados" que eu já vi, mas um dos caras mais gente boa que eu conheço, mas totalmente paranóico), o Zé Eloy (outro dos caras mais gente boa que eu já conheci, praticamente um irmão, aprendi muita coisa com esse sujeito), Shaolin (praticamente um mestre do Kung-Fu atualmente, mas na época ainda estava começando, e um dos caras mais zen e também um dos mais loucos que eu conheço, outro que é praticamente irmão), Humberto (o cara mais genial que eu conheço, e que era da turma inimiga mortal da minha durante os anos de CEFET, e acabou sendo da minha turma quando entrei pra Física), e todo o resto da turma de 97 da Física, da qual eu me orgulho de fazer parte (Custela, Gordin, Álvaro, Giselle, Deuses, Wéber, Marzo, etc...). E nem passava pela minha cabeça ingerir nenhum tipo de bebida alcóolica, eu era totalmente contra.

Os anos passaram, deixei de ser radical com Heavy Metal, já ouço vários outros estilos sem preconceito nenhum. Fui a vários shows de Metal, vi o Iron tocar no Rock in Rio em 2001, vi o Metallica tocar em 1999, e vários outros shows. Continuei na Física, terminei a graduação, emendei o mestrado logo depois, e estou terminando meu doutorado. Recebi alguns "C's" e "D's" como notas, mas aprendi que notas nem sempre refletem o que a gente sabe, e então deixei de ligar tanto pra elas. Ainda não tenho emprego, e sobrevivo com uma bolsa de doutorado. Acabei me apaixonando algumas vezes nestes últimos 10 anos, e acabei perdendo o medo de sentir aquela dor de coração partido. Não tenho medo de me apaixonar mais. Aprendi o que é amar alguém, e também aprendi a dor de perder alguém que se ama. Fiz vários outros grandes amigos (Pará, Felipe, Thiago, Breno, Catão, Chico, Carol, Lica, Amanda), alguns deles acabaram indo embora, mas voltaram, outros foram embora, mas ainda voltam pra tomar umas "cachaças" junto de vez enquando. Conheci pessoas pela Internet, que se tornaram grandes amigas, mesmo que quase todo o contato que eu tenho com elas seja apenas virtual. Apareceram pessoas que pareciam amigas, mas que não eram bem amigas de verdade, e às vezes ainda me assombram. Amigos se casaram, alguns tiveram filhos, outros acabaram se separando depois. Também causei dor a algumas pessoas, mas nunca por mal. Bebi a primeira vez pra comemorar o nascimento do filho de um dos meus melhores amigos, e depois não parei mais. Tomei até não aguentar ficar em pé mais, não aprendi. Tomei vários porres, várias ressacas, e ainda não aprendi. Continuo bebendo, e tive minha primeira amnésia alcóolica a pouco tempo (uma sensação não muito agradável), mas acho que ainda não aprendi. Sai do Brasil pela primeira vez, a viagem, voltei, sai de novo e estou morando um tempo fora (das melhores experiências que eu já tive). Sou muito mais sociável, e tenho a mente mais aberta pra várias coisas, mas continuo um cara que gosto mais de ouvir do que de falar. Troquei de computador três vezes. Passou a fase do mIRC, veio da do ICQ. O ICQ foi substituído pelo MSN. Mudei de nick algumas vezes. Fiquei viciado no tal do Orkut, depois deletei, fiquei mais de um ano sem nem lembrar que ele existia, e um dia acabei voltando. Acho que o Orkut já está ultrapassado, e que agora o melhor é o Facebook. Criei um blog, onde escrevo um monte de bobagens e que quase ninguém lê, mas que eu acho muito divertido. Ganhei uma sobrinha linda! Continuo louco e totalmente insando. Descobri o que é Chaos, e resolvi seguir a Entropia. (Insano.)

Errei muito, mas aprendi muita coisa nestes últimos 10 anos. Sei que o mesmo vai acontecer nos próximos muitos anos. Inclusive comecei meu trigésimo primeiro ano já cometendo um erro, mas sobre ela eu conto quando completar meus 40, se é que até lá esse blog ainda vai existir. ;P

Aprendi que as coisas mais legais da vida, são as imprevisíveis, e que acontecem do nada nos pegando de surpresa, e que às vezes é melhor viver simplesmente, do que ficar fazendo planos pra daqui a 10 anos. Daqui a 10 anos, a única coisa que eu espero, é que eu tenha um emprego bom, e que esses mais de 10 anos de Física tenham me válido alguma coisa. Arrependo-me de alguma coisa ou outra na minha vida, mas talvez eu não fosse quem eu sou hoje, se eu não tivesse me arrependido. E eu gosto de quem eu sou hoje.

Cansei. O Entropia é inexorável. Espero aprender muito ainda.

Chaostry 1311

A change...
Weird, out of control
Is it wrong?
I like it, but I don't know...
Confused
Is that The Cube!
A path has opened,
But it is not the Cube's doings
Everything is blurred
Chaos, again, Xaos...

A pale gaze upon me...
Not me, an avatar
The deeper I look,
The more of me I see...
And more lost I get
Is there any way out?
Do I want to get out?

Danger to the blood?
Blood sweet blood...
But there is also magic...
Magic can heal,
but Magic is not always what is seems to be...
Always remember that.

Is there a real danger?
And remember that the eyes are not mine...
I can't see the eyes, but I can feel the gaze...
.sigh.

Is there any sense? No... Just scrambled ideas...